Since 2009, I've been working on commissions as my employment. It's been a double edged sword. On one hand, it means I've been able to set my own hours and decide what kind of work I take on. On the other hand, I can't really cite it as a job in normie circles. How would I begin to explain to someone that I haven't been traditionally employed in over twelve years?
I'm going to be moving out at some point in the future. Living with my parents has been an emotionally abusive situation of being surrounded by constant negging and anti-help. The lens through which they view the world is so conservative and suspicious of outsiders. The fact that my friends are unable to extract me from the situation or provide more material help to them is proof that friends are evil, opportunistic creatures which try to wrench me away from the family. I've given up trying to share my feelings with my family lest I be talked down to or told to pray more.
It's such an exhausting loop of day to day disappointment. Perhaps they are as disappointed at me as I am with them, for we don't agree on matters cultural, spiritual, or conversational. I try to skip through the cutscenes of their interactions and it gives me a great deal of anxiety just making face to face conversations with folks who don't understand me at all.
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